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ur personal army

from fifti by Van Hunt

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about

thinking of impressing.

i like the bombast.

those r the 2 remembrances i hav  when i think of my #3 n the countdown. who was i thinkn of impressing while i sat behind the drum kit? it doesn't matter. i nevr rcvd that reward - and I've realized since that if sum1 thinx they hold ur self-esteem n their hands they will nevr giv it back; not even at the small price of seeming complimentary. but what an astonishing thing 2 come out on the other side of 50 and realize i've made it. that i was right all along. and, that making it has nuthn 2 do w sum1 else's  measurement of success. you can't fill n their insecurities w ur own. I've shaken it all off and stand at the edge of that loss feeling dominant; bcuz i gave u what i had. w the help of a lotta people, i have taken the shapes that once sat behind my eyes and expressed that shit. it's music that even i need, sumtimes; and i rarely listen 2 music, let alone my own. the last memory of this song is my friend, Rev. Doug Truth Smith, winking at me as he listened 2 my drums on the playback of 'Ur Personal Army' and breathing the words, "i like the bombast." 

lyrics

when love and war takes prisoner
of the soldier n u
when ur desire's under fire

just call on me
i'll be ur personal army
baby, i'll b there
just call on me
i'll b ur personal army
ur antidote 4 despair

when u've burned bridges...fought n trenches
to protect ur happiness
and, now ur airplane's grounded/troops' surrounded

when love and war has captured ur
sense of humor
i'll light the night with my charm and my wit

credits

from fifti, released February 8, 2020
mixd by Melissa Mattey
graphic design by Jonathon Rosen

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Van Hunt Los Angeles, California

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